Negotiate Like A Pro: Tips From FBI Expert Negotiator, Chis Voss

Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator and author of Never Split the Difference, provides powerful negotiation techniques that can be applied in any context—from salary discussions to closing deals. Here are his top strategies for effective negotiation:

1. Tactical Empathy

• Understand their perspective: Show genuine interest in the other party’s feelings and viewpoint. Use phrases like, “It seems like…” or “It sounds like…” to label their emotions.

• Build trust: Empathy creates rapport, making it easier to reach an agreement.

2. The Mirroring Technique

• Repeat the last 1-3 words: Mirroring encourages the other person to elaborate without them feeling pressured. For example, if they say, “We need flexibility,” respond with, “Flexibility?”

• Make them feel heard: This subtle tactic keeps the conversation flowing and helps you gather more information.

3. Open-Ended Questions

• Ask “How” or “What” questions: These force the other party to think and collaborate. For example:

  • “How do you see us resolving this?”

  • “What challenges are we facing in finding common ground?”

• Shift the burden of solution-making: This puts the responsibility on them to propose terms that could work for both sides.

4. Use the “Accusation Audit”

• Preempt objections: Acknowledge potential negatives upfront. For example:

  • “You might think I’m being difficult here, but…”

  • “I understand if this sounds like a big ask.”

• Disarm resistance: By admitting weaknesses or concerns, you make the other side more receptive.

5. Leverage the “No”

• Get them to say “no”: Asking a question framed for a “no” can reduce pressure and give the other party control. For example:

  • Instead of saying, “Do you agree with this proposal?” try: “Would it be unreasonable to suggest this proposal?”

• Empower them: A “no” helps clarify boundaries and opens the door to genuine dialogue.

6. The Power of Silence

• Stay quiet after making a point: When you pause, it creates tension and encourages the other person to fill the silence—often by sharing valuable information.

• Give space for reflection: Silence shows you’re listening and confident in your position.

7. The “Black Swan” Concept

• Look for hidden information: Black Swans are game-changing details that can shift negotiations. Ask questions to uncover what truly matters to the other side.

• Listen carefully: What’s not being said might be just as important as what’s verbalized.

8. Aim for “That’s Right”

• Seek validation, not agreement: When the other party says, “That’s right,” it means they feel fully understood. Summarize their perspective to reach this point.

By mastering these techniques, you’ll approach negotiations with confidence and finesse, ensuring you not only achieve your goals but also leave the other party feeling respected and valued.